glFusion Site

Thank You Nema and Rose

Rev_Bill — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 12:52:22 -0400

Weddings in the Willows is now back on its own server and now running on the GLFusion content management system. A little over a year ago, my own server got fried with a power-surge when lightning struck downtown Greensboro close. Since then, Nema Mobley and Rose Birdwell very kindly and very graciously allowed me to have space on their server that houses Cemetery Surveys Inc . If you're doing genealogical research, I highly recommend their work.

Even though Nema and Rose have limited bandwidth, they shared with me so that Weddings in the Willows could continue to have a web presence. Now that is a couple of dear and sweet friends. Thank you, ladies. I am very grateful to both of you.

In the coming weeks, I'm be re-importing the photo albums and putting them online here as well as on my Facebook fan-page. There isn't a public contact form on this site yet, but if you need to contact me quickly, please do call 336 324 6695 (no B-to-B call, please!) or reach me via Facebook.

Again, thanks Rose and Nema.

Animal Companion Ministry

Admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:56:02 -0500

Welcoming and Blessing

Have a new member of your family? I am available for animal companion blessings weekday evenings and most weekends unless I have a prior commitment that day. October 4th is St Francis’ Feast Day!

Transition

The sudden loss or impending transition of a beloved animal companion often goes with the added indignity of having your feelings not taken seriously. As a lover of animals, I do understand the depth of emotion we share for our companions. For people with disabilities who depend on their assistance for mobility and freedom, the loss of an assistant is doubly distressing.

As with funerals and memorials for humans, I am available weekday evenings and on weekends for ceremonies. Unless I am counseling or performing a ceremony I will answer my cell phone. If I am unavailable at the moment, please leave a message in my voice mail with your name, a callback number and a good time to call when I can reach you. No one cries or prays alone in my presence — my job as a minister is to ease the pain of sudden transition and, while I hope we never have to meet under sad circumstances, may I be of comfort to you.

Services and Policies

Admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:44:45 -0500

At all times, I will try to work with you to set times and locations so that everything will go as smoothly as possible. Your needs and concerns are very important to me; I may or may not appear to be able to fulfill every one of them just by looking at the web page, so it’s important to review these outlines, then use the contact form to get in touch with me to see how we can best work together for your occasion.

If you don’t see a ceremony that you would like to have performed, by all means contact me. These pages are not an exhaustive listing.

Availability of Services

For all marriage or commitment services, the couple will receive a keepsake certificate on fine paper, suitable for framing or adding to your keepsake book. Bookings are secured on a first-come, first-served basis. In order to schedule fairly, secure your appointment early. Appointments are firm on receipt of firm commitment: in order to be fair to other couples or families in need, I cannot hold appointments without a firm commitment from you. An email with a date and a statement is sufficient.

I reserve bookings on the honor system. I don't require a deposit because I try to work with you to provide the lowest-cost and the least-stress service. If you agree to hire me as your officiant and I work with you to create your ceremony, I must ask you to inform me if you need to cancel or move your wedding date. It's only fair to other couples not to hold a date if your plans change. Things happen -- the economy isn't in the best of shape and sometimes people need to make other arrangements. I have arrived at venues as agreed several times to find no one there. All it takes is a phone call to release a date. It's not a problem -- I'm very flexible and willing to work with you to make your wedding happen!

If you have an emergency, such as the sudden transition of a family member or animal companion, or you need an officiant for a wedding or union because your current officiant is suddenly and unavoidably unable to perform your ceremony as scheduled, please call my cell phone directly at 336 324 6695. I will do my very best to work with you to fulfill your needs.

There is no fee for an initial consultation. I may be the ideal Officiant for you; but I might not be. The first meeting is so you can feel comfortable with my easygoing style and so you can establish comfort with my abilities.

My Traveling Area

There are also times when an officient may not be available outside this area. Call me anyway! I might be able to get to you with a bit of planning and arrangement. If you're farther than I can get to, I probably have a fellow-officiant contact with whom I can put you in touch.

A Description of Our Practice

Admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 23:38:59 -0500

Blessed Be!

Progressive Practice: Friendly, Non-Discriminating, Accepting and Welcoming

All couples, regardless of religion, race, or gender, who have committed to a lifelong, loving relationship deserve respect and celebration. Be assured that your commitment or marriage will be approached with utmost courtesy and privacy. Your joy is mine, because it truly is a privilege to celebrate with you! If you have made the positive step to affirm your love and friendship, it should be celebrated in the manner in which you feel comfortable and respected. We’re also animal-companion friendly!

¡Sí! ¡Yo hablo español!

Weddings

I am a called and ordained member of the clergy, offering traditional and non-traditional religious, spiritual, or plain civil ceremonies for weddings under the law. If you need a celebrant for weddings outside mainstream religious strictures and conventions, or you’re looking for a private ceremony, please allow me to be of service. Unusual requests are welcome and I will do my best to accommodate your wishes for your special day.

Handfastings and Rite of Commitment

Many opposite-sex couples have good reasons for not wanting full legal marriage (such as potential loss of benefits, insurance or other financial reasons), but do wish to affirm their lifelong spiritual commitment to one another. Many older couples desire the comfort of a church-sanctioned commitment. My calling and practice is to affirm love and respect for all and I am humbly pleased to be of service to everyone in the community.

North Carolina does not recognize same-sex marriage, but I can also perform traditional Handfastings and Rites of Commitment for couples who wish to affirm their love and commitment without a state-sanctioned marriage. These ceremonies are open to opposite-sex and same-sex couples equally, without qualification or judgment.

More

I am also available for baby-namings. Again, I am allowed to perform traditional and non-traditional religious and non-religious rites.

In time of need, may I be of comfort at funerals and memorials. While death and transition are part of the human experience, saying farewell to loved ones are still difficult times. As difficult as they are, it is my calling to ease the burden of grief; you will not be alone. As with any other service I perform, you are able to choose the most appropriate for your family and loved one.

This extends to animal companions as well as human family members.

Travel Area

I can travel to officiate at ceremonies in central North Carolina.

If you are looking for low-cost, non-traditional ceremonies, offered with respect and dignity, I hope you will consider my services.

Be Well,

Rev Bill (Yanceyville and the Piedmont Triad area)

Rev Tom (Raleigh, the Triangle, and the Coastal region)

Marriage and Discrimination - It's Everybody's Issue

Rev_Bill — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:07:57 -0500

I'm aware that I may lose friends and fans over this, but I feel that in the name of dignity and fairness I need to speak for many who have been needlessly hurt and may still be hurting. I send healing and I post in peace and love.

In the last couple of years, same-gender marriage has gotten more and more attention as committed, loving, long-term same-gender couples have sought (and sometimes won) the right to have equal rights of marriage. As someone who sees all kinds of couples in love, I am privileged to see a slightly larger picture than most of what is really going on in America these days.

It's not as rosy as picture we'd like to paint for ourselves.

I run an unusual practice, being of the Universalist frame of heart and mind. I've always felt that if two people have promised to one another that they are going to commit to one another, throw their lots in together, to live, love, work, build a home, possibly a family together, then they've already made a deep promise. Their hearts and minds are already, well, in a word, "married".

There's not a piece of paper, not an officiant or priest, not a state or church that can join them any further or set them any further apart. If they so choose to live together and accomplish these goals, they will. That's what a marriage is: a promise to one's best friend to honor, respect, and cherish them; to look out for them, protect them, and yes, to love them without reservation.

But as we have come to understand it, the word "marriage" also is charged with legal implications and certain state-granted rights. Not the least among these are succession, ownership of property, the right to visit one's spouse in hospital, the right not to have a decedent's will overturned by blood family, and some (minimally) 1100 to (maximally) 2700 enumerated other rights. It has nothing to do with procreation, since many couples choose on their own not to have children and many other couples for other reasons cannot have children. Some aren't financially able either to support children if they could have them nor could they afford to adopt.

It also has nothing to do with notions of tradition. Biblically, there are many, many sorts of "marriage" arrangements, from two-person-monogamous to polygamous, to scores of wives and concubines. (I can just see THAT flying these days... NOT!). That argument doesn't hold water. Up until the XIVth Century, the Roman Church blessed same-sex unions, though they are loathe to admit it unless pressed. (Check your history books -- it's there.) So the notion of "one man, one woman" in the millenia of human history is not that old; only a scant handful of centuries. Given the second-largest reason for divorce -- adultery -- (highest in red states -- you know, the ones with the greatest hew and cry against both interracial and same-sex marriage, by the way), a ceremony may have PRONOUNCED "one man and one woman", but all-too soon, the reality (and the divorce court proceedings) revealed a man and a woman and a woman and a woman, and a woman and a man and a man... You get the picture. The hypocrisy is bare for anyone with eyes to see. Whatever happened to removing the log from one's own eye before complaining about the mote in someone else's? So let's talk about being fair to everyone.

In my few years as an officiant, I have been shocked to hear in this day and age when beautiful couples have come to me and said, "No one will marry us because we're an interracial couple". Woh.

It's not just gays and lesbians, folks. There seems to be enough hatred to go around, it grieves me to report. Now, why, I have to ask, is it when two people have promised to one another with all their hearts, minds, spirits, and strength to love one another until the end of time, why is it that they shouldn't have a beautiful wedding, simply because of a slight difference in tan or shape of their eyes?

Oh, please. Love is a miracle; it's rare. It takes some people almost all their lives to find The One. Most of the time, we don't get it right the first time and have to keep looking. We get hurt and even sometimes a little damaged out there before it comes along. But when a person knows, a person knows.

I've seen that same hurt and longing in quite a few couples' faces.

"No one will marry us on Hallowe'en"

"No one will marry us because we are of different faiths."

"No one will marry us because one of is agnostic/an atheist."

And the big one now before us: "No one will marry us."

Maybe it's the way I was raised, to put myself in someone else's shoes, to attempt to wear their pain even for just a moment. I cannot fathom the negativity when love itself is so hard to find and so hard to keep. It has so many enemies in so many places. So much of life conspires against it: difficult finances, difficult living conditions, difficult jobs to do. When life is already difficult enough, why must one person start in on another with a bunch of "you should"'s that don't wholly fit reality, to wit:

"You should marry on some other day that Hallowe'en. I think it's a sin."

"You should marry someone of your own faith."

"You should marry a person of faith." or "You should be a person of faith."

"You should marry a person of the opposite gender."

Just because something is right for you and fits you, doesn't make it right and fitting for someone else all the time. Yes, there are polite social norms, but when science proves beyond reasonable doubt that gender is absolutely not XX and XY and that orientations are established before birth, I for one have to admit that G'd (and however you perceive G'd) makes no mistakes. I accept this Design on faith and science backs it up.

Religion is a lifestyle choice. One can choose a new church anytime. One simply cannot choose their gender or their orientation. That is life. There is a profound difference.

The Loving v Virginia case should have cleared the deck for interracial marriage, yet forty years later we are still struggling with it. Despite hysterical claims, interracial marriage did not cause polygamy. It did however triple... from 2% to a whopping 6%.

And couples still come to me in tears. If Spirit continues to move within me at all, I promise to make them happy.

Now I've heard a lot of hysterical claims that if same-gender marriage passes in states that don't have it then churches will be forced to perform such marriages. FALSE. There has been no such language in any bill, nor will there ever be.

Conversely, all present law forbids me to practice my church's teachings (to serve all who come before me). To wit: the state forbids me to marry same-gender couples. The state is, in bald point of fact, telling me how to practice my faith when no law has ever been designed to the converse: to force any church to perform a marriage the pastor doesn't want to. (Note: I still can say "no" to anyone. I don't if I can at all avoid it. My mission is to serve all who come before me.) I can offer "holy union" or "rite of commitment" but I can't utter the words "matrimony" or "marriage" to a same-gender couple. Again, I still see interracial heterosexual couples all the time who get told "no". Loving didn't force churches to marry interracial couples, and opening marriage to same-gender couples won't force churches to marry them, either.

None of this discrimination is fair and none of it is right. I was raised to be fair and what is fair for one is fair for all. A committed, loving couple, regardless of their color, faith (or lack thereof), or orientation, should have the same dignity and respect as the next. They should have the same enumerated and intrinsic rights as the next. This is America and "fair" still means "fair for everybody" not "just for a privileged few". We've been working for a hundred and fifty years to remove the notion of despised classes from our lexicon and include humanity in our hearts. What, other than stubbornness (or is it laziness?) is stopping us?

I stand for dignity and equality in all regards. It's just fair. It's just decent. It's just dignified living.

Peace.

Chilren of the Mother

Rev_Bill — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:33:38 -0500

Our lovely Gaia garbed in blue and green
Her tender skin in fertile hues of brown
With Her single faithful page Celene
Veiled in clouds of white, a bridal gown.

From afar She seems a place of peace;
No hunger, war, or pain, or thirst, or strife.
Yet we from every fair from fair decrease
When given life we fairly could give life.

In the velvet jewel-box of space
Her value rare mere mortals cannot know;
A face serene belies the human race
Whose carelessness we should be 'shamed to show.

With such a gift to us from God as She,
A better kind of child you'd think we'd be.

Everything I Know about Love, I Learned from a Little Dog

Rev_Bill — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:05:03 -0500

I wrote some thoughts down several years ago when my dearest companion of twelve years passed, not long after her buddy also crossed the Rainbow Bridge. How lucky was I, to share a goodly portion of my life with someone who gave such unconditional, forgiving love. If there is Someone/Something Greater, surely that Goodness is reflected in these.

Everything I Know about Love, I Learned from a Little Dog

Dedicated to Sadie-Lynn and Ashley-Marie I
Now waiting for me just across The Rainbow Bridge

Love is loyal. No matter how many times the ball is thrown, I’ll always come back; with or without it.

Love listens intently, even if the listener doesn’t understand every word. Trust the heart to translate.

Hands are for petting and saying “I’m here, still loving you.”

Love speaks with a completely honest heart and from the best motives.

Wet kisses and warm snuggles always lighten the saddest heart.

No one needs to pray or cry alone if your best buddy is close.

Take some time to chase butterflies, even if you don’t catch any. The pleasure is in doing something a little silly and a lot of fun together.

Ice cream tastes better when shared. One bowl, two spoons, please!

Some say it best by saying nothing at all. One loving “lean” is worth a mouthful of “I love you’s”. Humans squeeze hands — it’s the same thing.

Being a willing listener is likely to get you hugged.

Love is for always. If someone has ever loved you, you will always have that moment with you.

The one who waits patiently for you to arrive deserves lots of kisses. Kisses are easy to make and there are always more to give away.

Someone misses you every time they don’t see you, even if you’re just in the next room.

Joyous greetings are always in order when your love returns.

Petting the fur-kid does just as much good for the human doing the petting.

Saturday afternoon naps with your best friend refresh the body and restore the soul.

In the arms of one who loves you is the safest place in the world.

Happy sighs say it all. Puppysize say even more.